Confidence
by freakinwinky
Summary: Remus is nervous. Tonks decides to do something about it.Post HBP. Originally written for the rtchallange on LJ.
1. Waiting

A/N: I wrote this to be the original prolouge for this trilogy. After I'd written it, I decided it didn't really fit and decided not to include it in the finished product. Now however, the more I read it, the more I like it as part of this piece. So here it is. The beginning you received much too late...

**Confidence: Waiting**

"Don't worry Remus. It's-it's just a temporary glitch nothing more!"

I stroke his arm and try to help him calm down. He's going into self-deprecation mode, I can see it in his face. I hate when he does this!

"Is it Tonks?" He looks at me with a sad grimace and chuckle which just spells out irony. "Do you really believe that this will all just go away?"

"Of course not. You know what I mean. We will be married, no matter how many long winded, ridiculously borring un-fair hearings we have to sit through to do it!" I insist trying to keep my voice light. After all, someone has to be the positive one. Even if the situation does look very close to impossible.

"And if they say no?" He asks lightly. He's trying to put up the cold, distant, professor face again. That won't work either, I grasp his hand to keep him from slipping too far away from me.

"Then we'll try again. We can always appeal." He suddenly pulls his hand away from mine, stands up and begins pacing the length of the living room.

"And if they slap us down again, and again and again…? I told you Tonks. I am a marked man. They are not going to simply give into the wants, even the needs of a werewolf. They will fight us to the very end."

"Then we'll just have to fight back won't we?"

"It's not that simple," he doesn't look at me when he says this. I have a feeling he's going to go for another one of his noble 'too old, too poor, too dangerous' speeches. I don't care to have the discussion again so I walk up to him slowly and stroke the side of his face in a way that I know he loves.

Sure enough, he closes his eyes and leans into my hand.

"It could be that simple, Remus. And no matter what, we have to let ourselves try."

I take his hand and lead him to the couch. I can hear his breathing slow. He is calmer now.

"Remember darling, we can both be very stubborn when we want to be. And we have all the time in the world to wear those old ministry toads down."

"It may take months. Even years," His voice no longer holds the sound of dire warning, merely caution.

"Then we'll _wait_. Believe it or not Remus, I can be very patient about some things. We've come this far; I'm not going to let a few measly years separate me from you."

I stroke the base of his wrist with my hand, and this time he reaches up to carress my cheek, and I lean into his touch.

"Whatever did I do to deserve you?"

I feel a jolt in my stomach as he says this.

"Mmm…nothing," I answer truthfully moving in to lay my head against his chest.

"You were just you. And guess what?"

"What?"

"I still love you for it."

He smiles and places his lips against mine in a quick kiss.

"Even though I have a severe socio-political stigma and a widely feared lunar habit?"

I pull away from him exasperated.

"Oh, for heaven sake Remus are you ever going to let that go?"

"Yes."

I look at him in shock. His face is fairly serious.

"Eventually. But not now. Now, I believe, it is time for tea…"

He rises from the couch and moves into the kitchen, and I marvel at the way nothing, not even a mandatory ministry hearing over his marriage license in less than a week, can upset his tea schedule. Still, what I said holds true. I do not want to marry him because he is spontaneous, or young or handsome in the manner of Gilderoy Lockhart.

I love him because he is simply Remus, and that is more than enough.

So, instead of saying anything more on the subject of hearings, marriage or love, I silently follow my soon to be husband into the kitchen and pray that he doesn't burn the toast.


	2. Secret Weapons

"Tonks? Are you ready yet?"

I swear that's the fifteenth time he's asked me that question in as many minutes

"I'll be right out!"

"You said that half an hour ago!"

Did I? No. It couldn't have been more than twenty minutes ago. He's over compensating again. He always does that when he's nervous. Still, I don't think it would do to keep him waiting much longer.

I look in the mirror, at my still pink and spiked hair. Usually perfect for any occasion. However, I don't think the ministry would find bright colors appropriate for this afternoon. And though I usually don't give a damn what those wet blankets think, I know that I have to make a good impression today.

So, I scrunch my face and my hair moves into shiny, yet simple black curls. Perfect.

With one last nod to the mirror, I move from the bathroom to the bedroom where my (hopefully) soon to be husband is busy pacing a hole in the carpet. The bathroom door shuts and he looks up at me.

His jaw drops and his eyes go wide.

"Tonks?"

"Yes?"

I walk to the wardrobe and fumble around for my dress robes. I know they're in here somewhere…

"What are you wearing?"

"Oh these?" He's gaping at my fishnet stockings and little velvet black slip which I had originally been saving for the wedding night.

I should have explained earlier. Though if I had told him earlier, I would not have been able to see that shocked expression on his face which is, indeed, priceless.

"They're my secret weapon. They make me feel sexy and confident."

"Nymphadora…"

Remus only calls me by my Christian name for two reasons, one: he's being completely serious or two: he's not being serious at all. The anxious expression on his face and the fact that he's now begun pacing the floor again tells me that this time it's the former.

"Don't worry, I've got a pair of perfectly boring and acceptable dress robes around here somewhere. I'm just wearing this underneath."

"You do realize what's at stake don't you?"

"Yes I-"

"Our lives could hang on this hearing!"

"I know that I-"

"For god sake, this is what will decide if we will even be able to _have_ a life together!"

"Remus-"

"And you know that they're already going to be prejudiced against us. The ministry doesn't want one of their aurors married to a werewolf. If we step one foot out of line-"

"Remus, I know! Remember their deciding my future too! And that's not to mention my job, my reputation and everything else! Believe me, I am taking this seriously!"

I honestly don't know where that outburst came from. All I know that suddenly, I feel much more nervous. After all, this hearing really does decide…well, everything! Marriage licenses are very rarely given out to Werewolves. And I know the department for Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures isn't going to do me any favors because of my job status.

To calm my nerves I do the only thing I know how to do. I talk quickly as I continue the search for my dress robes. Becoming more and more frustrated all the while.

"I mean how do you think _I_ feel, having to stand up in front of a room of judgmental prigs and explain that I'm not mad for wanting to marry the man of my dreams, even if he does have a bit of a moon issue? Is it so hard for you to imagine that I just might need an extra confidence boost today?" 

I'm nearly panicking now, as I search under books and scraps of paper for my crumpled black dress robes.

"Tonks, God…I'm sorry." I hear Remus say quietly. I turn to look at him. He's slumped down on the bed with his face in his hand. "I just…I…I don't want them to take you away from me."

He says this quietly and almost to himself. He looks quite dejected.

It's only now that I realize I might not be the only one who needs a confidence boost. I decide to give him one, as best I can anyway.

"Remus, look at me."

He lifts his face from his hands and I can tell that he's chastising himself for looking me up and down with a lustful glint in his eye.

I give him a knowing smile.

The poor thing still looks anxious. I must admit he is adorable like this, biting his lip and sitting with his hands folded on the bed in a Muggle suit that he borrowed from my dad for the occasion, as he decided that his dress robes were too shabby to be of any use.

I take a very daring step toward the bed and crawl onto it behind him. I'm not sure how he will re-act, but it is worth a try.

"Tonks what on earth are you doing?" He nearly jumps off the bed when he feels my hands rubbing against his shoulders.

"Well, I would be giving you a massage if you weren't so jumpy."

He rolls his eyes and turns his back to me, I continue rubbing his shoulders.

"Tonks we really don't have time for-oh!"  
I lean forward and nibble on his ear lob. I learned early on that his ears are his weakest point.

"Remus?" I whisper.

"Mmm?" Seems to be the only sound he's capable of making right now. His eyes are closed and he lays his head back on my chest.

"Do you love me?"

I give myself a slightly unfair advantage when I slide by hands from his shoulders to his chest.

"Oh, yes."

He reaches his hand up and tentatively brushes my hair with his fingers.

"And by now, there shouldn't be any doubt that I love you."

It's a statement not a question. I won't give him the chance to second guess himself again.

"If that's true," I continue, his free hand moves, apparently of it's own accord to wander up my thigh.

"What's the worst they can do?" I feel him tense a bit as he thinks of this. His hand drops from my hair and I can almost imagine the conversation turning morose once more. So, I up my attack. I bend my head down and drag my lips along his neck. In a moment he groans once again, and he is right back where he should be.

"They could keep us from getting married, they could force us to keep on living in sin, they could make our lives difficult for a while…" As I say this I can tell that he's beginning to think once more. I move back up to his ears in order to make him stop.

"But they can't stop me from loving you," I whisper gently. I begin to unbutton the collar of his dress shirt.

"And in case you need a reminder today, this…" I lean forward over his neck and place a kiss on the inside of his shirt lapel, making certain that my lip stick leaves a mark. "Can be _your_ secret weapon."

My hand reaches up and gently, I push the edges of his collar closed again.

"Oh, Tonks…" He whispers as he turns to me leaning in closer to my lips. I close my eyes and…

"Eek!" Rather embarrassingly I loose my balance and stumble backward onto the bed pillows. I'm sure that the way I've landed will leave a bruise on my back when the day is through. One good thing came of my clumsy nature however; I finally spy my dress robes crumpled in a ball in the space between the mattress and the headboard of our bed.

When I pull them out, he's laughing. I'm not sure whether to be annoyed or overjoyed at the sound. I choose the latter. I've always loved the sound of his laugh, even if it is often at my expense.

"Whatever am I going to do with you?"

I, rather childishly, stick my tongue out in his direction before slipping into my dress robes. Even if it did have its cost, my diversion seems to have achieved its goal.

I made him forget what was at stake, if only for a few moments.

"Are we ready now?" He asks.

I look at myself in the full length mirror once more. My dress robes really are dull. Willing myself to ignore my plain wardrobe for once in my life; I give a final approving nod to the mirror.

"Ready when you are Mr. Lupin," I say with mock dignity, which his expression reflects as he walks toward the door and opens it for me, ushering me thorough with a grand gesture. Before I move out of the door, I see his fingers barely brush the lapels of his shirt, which he has left un-buttoned.

He doesn't seem nervous anymore.


	3. Hiding in the Shadows

"Will you stop bloody pacing? You're making me nervous!"

She's standing underneath the long winding staircase at the ministry biting her one long thumb nail.

"And how do you think I feel watching you bite at your nails? They're going to be stubs soon if you don't stop you know?"

She rolls her eyes half heartedly at me and returns to her nail-nibbling frenzy.

I can't stand seeing her this way, nerve wrecked, and fragile; she's usually so strong. She doesn't deserve this. She doesn't deserve to be put through this humiliation on my account. She doesn't deserve to go through countless third parties before she is allowed to be married.

For a moment I am tempted to tell her this. I'm tempted to tell her to give up on me and move on with her life. I know it wouldn't work. She would only argue with me again, and in the end I would give in.

Besides, she doesn't need self deprecating speeches right now. Now, she needs me to be the calm one of the two of us.

"I don't know why you're so nervous. I thought it went quite well."

That is true. I hadn't expected to be nearly as eloquent in the hearing as I was, or for the committee members to be so accommodating. I could think of a thousand ways in which it could have been worse.

And yet she still looks at me as though I've suggested that Voldemort was really not such a bad fellow after all.

"You're joking right Remus? I was a complete disaster!"

"You were not a disaster."

She laughs darkly.

"Maybe not at first. But then, towards the end…I actually called them all a bunch of judgmental prigs!"

I have to smile a bit at that memory. While completely unexpected I have to admit that her display in the courtroom was rather amusing.

"And then I begged! I was two meter's shy of getting down on my knees in front of them. I can't believe…"

She hides her face in her hands.

"Kill me, Remus. Just kill me now and get it over with."

I have the urge to say something to cheer her.

"Now darling, there would really be no use in killing you. That would make this whole ordeal completely worthless!"

I chuckle a bit at my own joke. She simply stares at me wide eyed, then buries her face further in her hands and begins to sob.

Apparently I've said the wrong thing. I'll have to switch tactics.

I move over to her and place my arm around her shoulders.

"Oh, Tonks. I'm sorry; I didn't mean it like that."

I stroke her long black hair that feels much too different from her usual pink spikes beneath my fingers. She looks up at me, small tears still falling down her cheeks.

"I-I should have let you do a-all the talking," She chokes out through still present, though thankfully subsiding sobs.

"No, no. That's the worst possible thing you could have done."

I lift my hand to her cheek and stroke the tears away.

"If you had stayed silent through out, then it would have been easy for them to assume that I was in complete control of you, or forcing you into a marriage against your will. I thought it was very good that you did most of the talking for both of us."

"Oh that's ridiculous! Besides isn't it _normal_ for the man to do most of the speaking at these sorts of things?"

"Usually, but remember love, that room is completely filled with a bunch of, what did you call them again?" I ask, not because I don't remember, but because I want to hear her say it.

"Judgmental prigs."

She's smiling now, and I smile with her.

"Right. And do you remember what you told me before we got here?" She looks at me again. I know she remembers, but she wants to hear me say it. So I will:

"I love you. And…you love me. No one can take that away from us."

"Actually, I think my version was a bit more eloquent."

"Well, you'll have to forgive me if I didn't get it down word for word, you see, I was a bit distracted at the time," I answer nearly wishing that I was, once again the nervous wreck I had been in our bedroom before the hearing began.

If I was then she, at least would be able to continue with her rather intoxicating confidence boost.

She giggles and I smile at her and kiss the last of the tears off of her cheeks.

"Feeling more confident now?" I ask

"I would be if…"

"If what?"

"If I knew you still had your secret weapon in tact?" She bites her bottom lip and looks at me with that playful gleam in her eye. The one I can't say no to.

I open the collar of my shirt where she left her lip print.

"Still there, and in perfect condition as far as I can tell."

"Hmm…" She looks at it with mock seriousness, though the hint of playfulness still lingers in her eyes.

"I'll have to take a closer look."

Lightly, she pushes me into a small shadowed area underneath the sunlit staircase.

"Hiding in the shadows for a 'closer look'?" I tease.

"Of course!" She says as though it were the most obvious position in the world.

She steps toward me and takes the lapel of my shirt in her hands, making sure her fingers brush against the skin of my bare chest as she does so.

"Hmm…" She says again. "I think it needs a little touch up."

Slowly she bends into the inside of my collar and presses her lips over the faded red image she left before.

"Better?"

I ask breathlessly.

"Mmm…much," She answers beginning to kiss her way up my neck and along my jaw.

"Tonks…"

God knows I don't want her to stop, but we'll be expected back in the court room soon. They'll be announcing their final decision in a few minutes. I decide to reminder her.

"Tonks…Tonks we…oh god…we…we need to get back."

She looks at me for a moment before nuzzling against my neck.

"We've got time."

That is true. Suddenly a truly marauder-esq idea strikes me.

"Well, if we have time for this," I say thoughtfully. "Perhaps I have time to make sure that _your_ secret weapon is still in tact?"

I grab hold of her hips and shift our positions so that she is pressed against the wall.

"Why Mr. Lupin!" She says in a dignified tone, though her smile gives her away.

"Are you making advances toward me?"

My hand wanders into the small opening at the bottom of her dress robes and finds the sheer fabric of her fishnet tights underneath.

"Perhaps."

She smiles at me for a moment, then giggles and suddenly slaps my hand away.

"You can check the status of my knickers later. Right now we really do need to get back."

I sigh but move my arm to let her out from underneath me. She's walking back out into the sunlight, her hair rippling down her back and I think I'm becoming rather fond of the black curls.

"Tonks, wait!" I say suddenly. I pull her back and kiss her full on the mouth, just to remind her what all of this was for.

"I love you." I whisper as she pulls away.

"I love you too." She strokes the side of my face in a way that drives me mad, and I can't help but lean down to meet her lips again.

"a-hem"

A loud cough sounds from behind us. We jump apart like two errant school children caught in the bushes by a professor.

Adolfus Viejen, the head of the "Committee for the Control of Magical Creatures", and main judge in our hearing today, stares at us wearing an odd smile.

"I am sorry to disturb, but the committee would like me to inform you that we will be reconvening in ten minutes time."

I look to Tonks who is looking down at the floor and hiding a blush. I take that as the signal it is safe for me to speak.

"Thank you Mr. Viejen. But we were, under the impression that the court would only need _fifteen_ minutes to make their decision?"

I form this as a question so as not to make myself sound too eager. Ten or twelve minutes have already passed by according to the clock which hangs on the wall above the stair case. Which would give us only two more minutes before hearing the final decision.

"Yes, they did say that. However, some new developments have come to my attention, and I believe it might take some time to convince the other…er… _judgemental prigs_ of my view point."

Tonks' blush reddens. I look at Viejen trying to determine if he was offended by her comment in the court room or not. Viejen however, is still smiling at us, and his expression is one of up most ammusment.

"Don't worry, I'm sure they will come to see things my way when all is said and done. So then…"

He gives me a little incline of his head.

"Ten minutes Mr. Lupin…"

He looks to Tonks.

"…Mrs. Lupin."

Still smirking in a knowing way he walks past the winding stair case and into the double doors that lead to the court room.


End file.
